went coconuts

Dear WhirlPoo,

I really thought things would be different this time. So I gave you another chance. I even had the previous problems fixed. You can’t even imagine how excited I was that you’d be helping me around here. Which you did in the beginning.

But no. You just have to be difficult.

You pretend not to be lazy, swishing away the way you do. Acting like you’re working really hard. So why are some of the dishes still dirty when you’re done? Why do I have to prewash them for you? And the spots. I gave you what you needed so there wouldn’t be any. Then I find out you “can’t” wash some of the dishes yourself. You’re telling me I have to do it?

You’ve ruined too many of my things. I can almost understand why you did what you did to my Rubbermaid containers, but the Krups filter holder for my espresso machine? Did you really have to ruin that? And what about the expensive travel cup? Why did you have to go and ruin that too? What else were you planning on destroying? Huh?

Tell me. What’s the point? Do we have to go back to our previous arrangement? Do you want to forever be just an oversized dish rack? I could make it happen, you know. Just say the word.