Dear Death,

Would you please give us a break?

We’ve been through so much already and I understand that all these things are supposed to make us stronger. But. It also makes us a little more coconuts each time. Could you just back off for a while? Let us enjoy life enough to not think it mostly sucks BIG FAT HAIRY BALLS!

I mean, this month last year you took my aunt so suddenly from me forcing me to miss my anniversary while I mourned. And this year? You took Visceral’s aunt just as suddenly and forced her to miss out on our first trip together out of state.

Don’t forget the fact that my hubs’ uncle is currently fighting a terminal disease all while his entire family is against him. And you do this just when work started picking up for him allowing us the capability to climb our way back out of debt. So now, he has to choose between providing for his family and spending what little time he has left with his uncle.

You bastard! Why would you do that?

Why would you tear us down just when we’re at a high in our lives? Do you think we deserve this kind of pain? How is someone supposed to feel reason for striving when all they ever get is pain when they try?

Leave us alone for a while. Is that too much to ask?

Dear Life,

Could you please tell Death to take a vacation and let you do the work for a while? I’m sure I’m correct when I say that we all would like to enjoy you while you’re here. Or would you rather us hate you as much as we hate Death?

I’m just saying.


Accessorize appropriately

My wedding ring is just another accessory.

Yes. You read that right. An accessory. Like my clothes, socks, shoes, and car. it’s just another peek into the type of person I am. Accessorizing for the occasion. Let me explain.

I used to think that I had to receive an engagement ring before I’d marry someone. It had to have a stone that stuck out far enough to leave a mark if I decided to punch someone in the face. Our wedding bands had to match it perfectly. In order to let everyone know that I’m happily married, it had to blind people when they looked at it. I envisioned it the way the world told me it should be.

What a surprise I was in for. No ring was involved when we decided to tie the knot. There was no need. Instead of him going alone, we went together to shop for them. Neither one of us wanted him to come home with one I didn’t want. The hubs spotted it first and pointed it out to me. I took one look at it and fell in love. With the ring. I was already in love with the guy. Bastard swept me off my feet and refuses to put me down!

My ring is a simple thin band with a small diamond set in it. It’s only one ring but it is almost a combination of an engagement ring and wedding band. Until that moment, I didn’t really realize what I truly wanted.

You see, I can’t stand rings with parts sticking out too much. With the way I am, it would snag on my clothes, get caught in my hair, or scratch my face. I’m also quite rough with my hands and don’t need to worry about accidentally slamming it down on a hard surface and knocking the stone out. Plus, I don’t need two rings to worry about losing. Believe me, I’m surprised I haven’t lost my ring yet.

I’ve been known to be quite frugal when it came to making purchases for myself. If I could get something nice at a low price, you bet I’d go for it. I don’t want a ring that cost more than my car. So it’s no surprise that my ring was paid off quickly and without tears. Not that others shouldn’t get them. If it fits their taste and lifestyle, then by all means, they should get what they want. I’m just cheap and easy.

And with it, taken.

With the fear of breaking or losing my ring came an idea. Maybe I could get a “stand-in” ring to wear instead and then I can lock the original one up in a safe and only use it for special occasions. After thinking about it, I put the thought away. Because. What would people think of me? They’d think I was insane for not wearing my ring. Or maybe they’d assume that I’m not as into my marriage as I make it seem. But I am. Maybe even more than anyone knows because I can’t find the words to describe how I feel.

I don’t wear my ring to prove to the hubs that I love him and I’m his forever. I’ve got other ways of letting him know. If you know what I mean. Wink. Wink!

After finding out that I’m not the only one with the substitute ring idea, I decided to find out what the hubs thought. He didn’t seem to mind and said that I should lock the original ring up in the safe when I get another one. Oh how awesome it is when our brains are on the same wavelength.

I’ve already got a stand-in. The pictures up there show the ring I’m currently wearing. Guess what? It’s a ring I’ve had for years and used to wear on my right hand. I found it while going through my jewelry looking for a necklace to wear. I’m pretty sure it cost me less than twenty dollars. Yup. My stand-in wedding ring is the same price as a dvd or hardcover book. Now I’m thinking, as long as I keep it cheap, maybe I can get more.

One for every day of the week. Or month!

I’m a quitter and proud of it

I’m laying here on my couch with two blankets covering me. I’m so tired I’ve allowed my toddler to run around playing on her own. I haven’t done anything since the oldest left for school and the hubs went to work. Maeby is making a mess, but I’m trying not to care. I need a break.

I’m giving up.

My anxiety has been shooting through the roof lately and it’s causing me a lot of problems emotionally as well as physically. It’s gotten to the point where every little thing annoys me or pisses me off and I can’t take it anymore.

I know it’s bad because I find myself annoyed when Maeby gets in my face just to smile, Niki hands me a drawing she made for me, and the hubs tries to talk to me. Something is wrong. How could I be annoyed by even the cutest things my little girls do? And how wrong is it that when the hubs wants to talk to me, I secretly want him to shut the hell up? That’s not me. Normally I find myself trying really hard to get him to talk to me. Does that sound bad to the rest of you?

So I’m quitting some things. Now usually I’m neither a quitter nor an asshole, but sometimes it’s necessary. Here goes.

I will quit holding back

I’m going to continue to tell people the truth, but without sugar-coating it to protect their feelings. By doing so, I’m being fully honest with them. If they want my opinions and advice, they’re going to have to deal with it even if they don’t like it. Which brings me to the next thing I’m giving up.

I will quit worrying about things left unchanged

What bugs me to no end is when someone comes to me for advice, refuses to take it, and goes back to doing things the same way expecting the situation to magically change. If they’re not going to do anything about it, I’m just not going to listen. If they want to continue to live miserably, I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

I don’t need to stress about someone who won’t make the necessary changes to better their lives. I’m busy trying to make positive changes to my own life and I don’t need other people’s problems getting in my way. More specifically, the problems of those that won’t do what needs to be done.

People need to quit complaining and do something about it. It won’t be easy and feelings may get hurt. But honestly. Would you rather live miserably knowing you could have done something to change it? Or would you rather take your chances at a better life? Sure, you may end up in another unhappy situation, but making the next set of necessary changes will be easier. Sometimes it takes a few tries.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying my friends and family can’t come to me for help. I’m all for helping those willing to help themselves. They just need to actually do it. We all need to make changes when things aren’t right.

That brings me to the next item on my list.

I will quit caring about what others think

I’ve got a problem with letting other people’s opinions about me and my choices get to me. There are times when I won’t do what I need to do because I worry about someone thinking I’m a bad parent, wife, person. I’m done. If I feel my choice may make a promising impact on my family’s life, I’m going to try to do it. I may run the risk of doing things wrong, but at least I’m doing something.

I will quit staying quiet

When a problem is difficult, and the chances of making someone upset are even very little, I stay quiet. Not because I don’t want to say anything, but because I want to find the right words. The problem with doing this is that too many times I set it on the back burner of my mind and forget about it. That is, until the problem rears it’s ugly head again but it’s gotten worse. Sometimes I do this so many times that it gets out of control and I explode. All the wrong words are said, relationships forever wounded (if not completely broken), and I’m left with yet another piece of my heart gone.

This has happened so many times in past relationships from boyfriends to close friends, as well as amongst family. I’m tired of it. I’m not going to lose one more person. Or another piece of my heart! I’m going to try to speak up early on and quit staying quiet.

I’m done. I quit. These are a few things I believe I’ll be proud of quitting. My body and soul will thank me. I just hope that the people affected by this change will thank me as well.